Mike Fagan Mexican Rankings 2025
Hello gentlemen. Happy weekend before Father’s Day. 23 years and counting. Wow. Good luck to this year's captains- Smitty and 3 Wood vs Mexican and Mickey. Why did I agree to this? Smitty and 3 Wood HUGE favorites. However, they don’t play the Ryder Cup on paper now, do they…
Here we go:
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22. Rick Roehr k/n/a Rage f/n/a Muzzy
PER TRADITION, LAST YEARS POS IS RANKED 22. SECOND TIME IN GALENA HISTORY ANYONE HAS BEEN RANKED THIS LOW (SEE LAST YEAR’S RANKINGS). RAGE DID NOT REMEMBER BEING THE POS UNTIL JJ ASKED HIM IF HE HAD THE POS AWARD TO BRING THIS YEAR. THIS MADE HIM MAD. RAGE WANTS A REMATCH WITH V-BOMB AND MIKE Z. I WAS HIS PARTNER. LET’S FUCKING GO. NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR THIS MATCH IS WHY WE ARE NOT PLAYING WESTLAKE THIS YEAR. GFY WESTLAKE.
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21. Jamie Bebar and Kevin Quinn
Beebs taking the year off (again). Reason- Unknown. Quinn taking the year off again due to family. I sense a trend. Rumor has it, both Beebs and Quinn are on double secret probation. See you in 2026…maybe.
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19. Tim Trendel
​Trendel ranked #18 last year. Dropped one spot due to excessive cheese ball consumption. Rumor has it, he was packed the minute school was out…golf clubs, one change of clothes and a case of cheesballs. That’s it.
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18. Dave Albert
​How many rounds has Albert golfed outside since Club Modz? Over/under set at 0.5. Albert’s all time record is 3-22-5, which is one more win than Trendel. LOL. What’s not funny is two of these wins were against me.
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17. Ed Rosetto
​Ed drops three spots from last year because Mickey insisted. Recently retired, will Ed be better at golf? His overall record of 5-20-6 gives him a puncher’s chance, because that is piss poor. He’s in charge of food so everyone be nice to him.
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16. Mickey Smith (Co-captain)
​Mickey still traveling too much for work and not golfing enough. Still angry that green will not be our team color (you guys are welcome) but he did learn this year what it means to hit a provisional (don’t ask). Will Mickey listen to his co-captain this year? Don’t bet on it. I hope we are still friends after this trip and he doesn’t use his last fight on me. That would be a waste.
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15. Peter Korbar
​​Ranked 12th last year. This is due in part to his move to Colorado. No one knows if he is playing golf on there. #NEWMYSTERYMAN. He took care of me last year at Holmes’ camper (I am 0-2 at that place) and I am still appreciative of my old friend. I saw a picture of him on FaceBook recently and he looked sexy. Could be a valuable pick at #15.
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14. Paul Branshaw
​​Ranked 9th last year. Why is everyone getting worse? This is what I said last year- He might not come to Galena in 2025, as he will be moving to Washington D.C. to be Trump's tax advisor and golf buddy if he wins the election. One of these things happened. That’s all I’ve got to say about that (movie quote).
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13. Joe Tonelli
​​ I spoke too soon. Joe stayed the same from last year. Well done my friend. How much golf is Joe playing this year? Unknown. Played well at Club Modz. Get your drinking shoes on if you are in his 4-some and until he sees everyone, he has a message…GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
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​​ 12. Dave Holmes
​ Holmes ranked 15th last year and if he was writing this, he would rank himself #26 out of #22 behind every person who has ever golfed in the greatest golf week in American history. 2024 MVP. Not looking good for a repeat. Has a serious case of the yips. Works as a ranger at Cinder Ridge. The time on the range there isn’t helping.
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11. Jason Vitas
​Ranked #7 last year. He doesn’t care about that or any of you guys. Busying trying to win yet another state title. That’s it. Like Joe said, GFY…
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10. Jim Fagan a/k/a 3 WOOD (Co-Captain)
​This is what I said last year…”How the Fuck is 3-Wood ranked #6?” New question…how the fuck is 3-Wood ranked #10. Playing more golf this year than anyone not named Callans. Beat me once in Boston and now can die a happy man. Super competitive and he looks forward to kicking my ass and kicking Mickey’s ass in match play. Rumor has it, he has a list of all the people he has beaten in his house. Try not to be on the list.
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9. AB
​Dropped one spot from last year. Got the full experience. Thought he was going to come in and dominate. Nope. 2-4-1 overall. He is thankful to Quinn not showing up again and is looking forward to having more wins than Albert after this year.
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8. JJ
Ranked #5 last year. Sorry JJ. If JJ doesn’t win best dressed this year, he’s out. That’s all I got. Do you know how long it takes me to type this shit out?
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7. Mike Fagan a/k/a Mexican (Co-Captain)
Yips, 87% gone. Frankenstein swing, gone. Still trying to be funny and good at golf. Both unlikely. Has knee issues and will be getting a second cortiscone shot at the end of the month. The doctor also recommended ABC- Advil, Bio-Freeze, and Corona.
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6. Kevin Callans
Which Kevin Callans is going to show up this year??? Inquiring minds would like to know. Will Cally be drafted where he should be drafted or will he be drafted like Shadeur Sanders was? Show up on August 5th at Freeport and find out. The draft is open to the public.
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5. Rich Zizek
​Albert disagrees with this ranking. Richie is #1 in Alby’s book. Is Richie golfing this summer or is he too busy coaching baseball???
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4. Mike Z
WE ALL KNOW MIKE Z. IS GOLFING ALL THE TIME. #OBSESSION. HOWEVER, HE HAS SOMEONE SPECIAL IN HIS LIFE NOW, WHICH COULD IMPACT HIS GOLF GAME. MIKE Z UPDATED THE WEBSITE, WHICH TOOK HIM OUT OF CONTENTION FOR BACK TO BACK POS AND HE NOW LOVES GOLFING IN SMOKE FILLED GARAGES WITH BUBBLES. COULD BE A FORCE THIS YEAR,
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3. SMITTY (Co-Captain)
See Vitas’ comment. Busy trying to win another state title. Helped me with the yips a few weeks ago and said, “The first lesson is free”. Can’t wait to see what the second lesson will cost. If it is a case of chocolate milk, I am in. I need to bring my A game in our match play. Kinda like Duke said in Rocky Balboa- this match will be competitive. CM4L!
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2. Jim Arnold
Moved up from #3 last year. He would disagree. #HUMBLE. Rumor has it, Jim and the other lefty on this trip have been sneaking out and golfing ALLOT after work. Thanks for asking me to go…
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1. Modz
Modz moves up to #1 despite gaining 35 pounds since the Chicago marathon. This kid can put the food away, especially at Club Modz. Quite impressive. 23-13-1 overall and has had two undefeated years. Look for another one this year!
I hope you enjoyed the Mexican rankings. Half of you will probably never read them because no one checks the website. Oh well. Stay healthy and see you clowns in 8 weeks!